Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Soulmates does not exist

That's what one Economist says. Well I don't think we should listen to them and with current market conditions probably most would agree with me that Economists are the last people who we should listen to, specially for social issues.

But I came across this interesting commentary from Betsey Stevenson, Professor of Economics at the Wharton School. She explain her take on marriage and why soulmate is Myth.

Most people think that if you let an economist into your personal life they'll tell you how to re-balance your portfolio. While that might be true, economists see markets at play everywhere. Even in your romantic life.

Indeed, I'm one of the worst guests that you can invite to your wedding. Why? Because while most of your guests are listening for your love story, I'm listening for your contract. While others see a romantic courtship leading to the altar, I see people who are satisfied enough to stop searching for someone else.

Economists simply can't believe in one soulmate. There are too many people in the world and the odds of finding that one person in five billion are, well, you can do the math.

So if economists don't believe in soulmates, why do we think people get married?

Searching for a spouse is very similar to searching for a job. There is not one perfect job for each of us, but there are clearly better and worse jobs. So we hunt, for a spouse and a job. When do we stop? When the offer in the hand is better than the likely offer in the bush.

At a wedding I see a relationship that is good enough to settle down and start investing in.

If you get a reasonable rate of return, investment in your relationship will make it truly better than any other relationship you could have. And that's why I listen to people's vows: to understand what they want out of their marriage or in economist-speak, what they are contracting over.

How important are fidelity, loyalty, generosity, kindness? As an economist I think that a good marriage, like a good employment relationship, has shared vision, common interests, complementary abilities, and gains from specialization.

If you want to hold on to romantic illusion, don't invite me to your ceremony. But if you do, please don't sit me next to your cousin in banking; we likely have less in common than you think.

Source: Marketplace.org


What do you think?

4 comments:

mystic rose said...

She is right, ofcourse.

Any two people on this earth can get married and have a hugely satisfying marriage. it is entirely in their hands.

Karthik Manamcheri said...

ANY two people cannot get married and be happy !! just like in a job, there are some which will fit you .. if you get married to a wrong person, it won't last ..

SindhuBhairavi said...

I agree with Karthikeyan. If tastes dont match and there is no proper communication/understanding, then nothing other than divorce would be helpful to save 2 unhappy souls + the poor kids who suffer such atmosphere.

Unknown said...

thanks folks..
my 2cents:
- there are many reasons why we don't listen to economists..;)

-i agree with comments but its also true that research suggestion divorce wouldn't make life any happier..

these are one of those things which is very subjective.. so i think there should be balance between 'giving up' vs 'putting up'.. while 'putting up' is worst and its better to move on.. it also not wise to 'give up' easily..