>>> a friend, who I knew for 12+yrs and from whom I haven't heard from many years after his marriage(which is usually for first 3/6month not after)), got in touch after all those years to inform that he is coming to visit me. and he did. Had fun time taking him around to whatever little place-to-see in luxembourg. It was nostlogic weekend taking about all old days, bubbies,.. I have very high regards for him. he was one of those who's not idealogs, with all good intentions, habits & very highly flexible and yet another urban adult with simple hopes & aspirations. which is why i felt tiny earthquake when he told me, he is divorced now. that was a complete shocker. ofcourse he wasn't comfortable talking about it for any length and i guess that's also part of the reason why he was out-of-touch. I don't know how to react or what to talk about that subject. I dont know what happen but that's kinda confirms my fear/belief- marriage is random act of luck. not much a rational process/act can do to make or break it, atleast not always. anyways, everyone cannt be good to all and he is good to me. I will be his friend without any judgements.
when talking to someone else who knew about this, he was trashing ‘her’(mrs…ex) I don’t why we indians designed to think broke marrriage is broken character.!? Cannot two rational good individuals can come together and go part without anyone been cast as ‘bad-person’.!?
recent study says- Divorces doesn't make people happier..
The research identified happy and unhappy spouses in US national datbase. Of the unhappy partners who divorced, about half were happy five years later. But unhappy spouses who stuck it out often did better. About two-thirds were happy five years later. Divorce didn't reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem or increase a sense of mastery compared with those who stayed married, the report says. Results were controlled for factors including race, age, gender and income. Staying married did not tend to trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships.
Study results contradict what seems to be common sense to me.. in indian context - for ages indian arrange marriage lived forever(/longer) because of this ONE reason "staying married". Society/community played big part on this but increasely with lifestyle change easy access to money everything getting/will change atleast among urban indians.
then again its always said if you are not happy - you can accept & wait for thinks to happen or design your own destiny by reacting/taking steps to change. later is widely considered to be wise step..
for more details - http://www.americanvalues.org/html/r-unhappy_ii.html
