10things Women should know about Men

10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man's Brain
Most popular notions about the male brain are based on studies of men ages 18 to 22 — undergrads subjecting themselves to experiments for beer money or course credit. But a man's brain varies tremendously over his life span, quickly contradicting the image of the single-minded sex addict that circulates in mainstream consciousness.
From his wandering eye to his desire to mate for life, here's what you need to know about guys' minds:
10. More emotional
9. More vulnerable to loneliness
8. Focused on solutions
7. Hard-wired to check out women
6. Must defend turf
5. Embraces chain of command
4. Matures over time, really
3. Primed for fatherhood
2. Daddy-play
1. Covets wedding bells, too

for more : http://www.livescience.com/culture/male-brains-100409.html

Research: Google tells what men and women want

Given that Mark Zuckerberg has explained to you that privacy is no longer a social norm, your first thought this morning was probably, "How can I get more of my information to be public on Facebook?"

Your second might well have been something to do with improving your current relationship with your beloved.

In a heartwarming analysis of Google searches, Dan Ariely, author of the beautifully named "Predictably Irrational," revealed just how different boyfriends and girlfriends are, when it comes to asking the Google oracle for ways to solve their relationship problems.

Taking the search "How can I get my boyfriend/girlfriend to..." structure, Ariely showed that girls most want to know how to get their boyfriends to propose. Truly, this is one of the most treacherous areas in human life, and I have many deep and forceful opinions on the subject.

Girlfriends are also very keen to know how to get their boyfriends to spend more time with them, love them, and generally be more romantic and less stinky.

Boyfriends, on the other hand, are most concerned to discover how to get their girlfriends to perform oral sex. This revealing bucket of angst is closely followed by the need to get their girlfriends to sleep with them, lose weight, and trust them. Shaving and forgiveness also make an appearance.

While Ariely's discoveries are, well, predictably rational, I decided to take things a step further and discover how these relationships change, once the girlfriend has learned how to get the boyfriend to propose. So I went for the "How can I get my wife/husband to..." paradigm. The last time I enjoyed this much simultaneous fun and tragedy was when I read a Russian novel in a Croatian bar.

You will be moved to tears, or perhaps St. Petersburg, when I tell you that husbands' most frantic search is, "How can I get my wife to love me again."

Before you reach for your handkerchief to dry your eyes, might I tell you that the next most popular googling suggestion is, "How can I get my wife to swing."

You will feel that your world has been temporarily righted when I tell you that the next two pleas involve losing weight and shaving. However, the list is completed with wanting to know how to get your wife to trust you again, love you and, that perennial source of friction, shut up.

What of the wives? Once they are betrothed, do they come to terms with their man's foibles and failings?

Well, the prime Google search for "How can I get my husband to..." is followed by the words "fall in love with me again." Yes, husbands and wives apparently want to be loved by their partners but have no idea how to achieve it.

This plea is followed by wanting their husbands to be "more affectionate" and "to love me again." Forget the "falling in love" part; just give me the basic love thing, these searchers seem to say--the one that involves a little thought and kindness.

Soon, though, the googling warts are exposed. For the next most popular is the need to know how to get the husband to help around the house. This is followed by more intimate needs, like romance and conversation. However, it is rounded out by a need to get husbands to leave the house and stop drinking.

What does this analysis tell us about the state of human relations? Well, there is little hope, isn't there?

Perhaps the planets Mars and Venus will, one day, be the homes of unisexual communities. Once men and women have finally stopped searching for answers even Google can't give them, that is.

Valentine's Day Expectations: Men v Women

Every year its the same valentine's Day claim of "Love is in the air", but what do the men and women really want from this romantic day? Thanks to the scientific art of making sweeping generalizations and handy old school Excel graphs, it turns out!

;)

Men Cheat mostly but women do too

Like years past, this one has been a whopper for high-profile philanderers. Psychologists aren't surprised, as guys are wired to want sex, a lot, and are more likely than gals to cheat. The behavior may be particularly likely for men with power, researchers say, though they point out that despite the genetic propensity to sleep around, cheating remains a choice, not a DNA-bound destiny.

The list of powerful individuals whose marital transgressions came out this year includes Tiger Woods, David Letterman, former senator John Edwards and South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford.

The obvious question, perhaps most perplexing when it comes to wealthy men who had beautiful wives and seemingly enviable lives: "What were they thinking?"

Turns out, they may not have been thinking consciously about the acts at all.

"I'm guessing these things don't happen at the forefront of their brain," said Scott Reynolds, assistant professor of business ethics at the University of Washington in Seattle. "They aren't things he sits down and calculates out. It's in the background."

Even if their brains did register the infidelities, high-profile philanderers have so much power and control over their lives they likely couldn't imagine getting caught, scientists say. And with past as their guide (wins on the links for Woods and the Hill for Edwards), even if they did get caught, they could control the fallout and stay on top.

Some indiscretions were more surprising than others, with Mr. Family Values — Edwards — coming to mind. The acts are not so surprising for scientists who study this stuff, however. They know that even the most upright, squeaky-clean person can have an extramarital affair, and perhaps they are more likely to do so.

"People don't necessarily practice what they preach," said Lawrence Josephs, a clinical psychologist at Adelphi University in New York. "It's not clear to what extent people's ethical values are actually running what they do or don't do."

Case in point: "The Playboy subscription rate is highest in the Bible Belt," Josephs told LiveScience.

Whatever the cause of each extramarital act, mistresses and multiple romantic partners are here to stay, scientists say.

Sowing seeds

From an evolutionary perspective, men are here to sow their seeds. They desire more sexual partners and even lower their standards when it comes to one-night stands, studies have shown.

"Guys would naturally be more promiscuous if given the opportunity," said Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health.

Add status and power to the mix and extramarital affairs are par for the course.

"These people are not only high in power, but also somebody like Tiger Woods is going to be traveling a lot and have a lot more opportunities to meet women," Kruger said. "Women fawn over these guys."

Guys can get a biochemical boost as levels of testosterone increase when they, say, win an election or a big tournament, Kruger said.

"It's like if they're put on top of the pedestal, they will feel these surges of power and higher levels of testosterone are associated with more promiscuous mating and with more success in attracting partners," Kruger said. "From the individual guy's perspective not only is he going to feel a greater urge, guys in general desire more sexual variety."

The illusion of control

Celebrities and big politicians can have an inflated sense of control over their lives and feelings of invincibility.

Tiger Woods "has an incredible sense of control in every aspect of his life," Reynolds said, including what tournaments he plays in, his schedule and sponsors. "Why shouldn't he be able to control who knows about his personal life and the reactions people have to it?"

This illusion of control, Reynolds added, mixed with lots of optimism can be a dangerous mix. "When he walks into a tournament he is fully optimistic that he is going to win, with his past as his cue," Reynolds said. "Why shouldn't he win this one." Reynolds said in the back of Woods' mind, he may have thought, "Of course I'm going to have a beautiful wife, and of course I'm going to be able to do these things on the side and nobody is going to find out."

Another word for this optimism might be "arrogance."

"A serious occupational hazard of being a celebrity is arrogance, to think you are better than the next guy, special, entitled, above common issues," said Joel Block, a psychologist specializing in love, relationships and sexuality. "How else to explain Tiger's reckless behavior? Did he really think that none of these women would talk about their liaisons? His fame and acclamation clouded his judgment."

Relationship trouble?

Generalizations about men and women only go so far when trying to explain unfaithful behavior. On the individual level, various other driving forces come into play, including specifics of the relationship and personalities involved.

For instance, narcissists — or those who are completely self-absorbed, relatively arrogant and have less empathy — are more likely to stray from spouses for a fling. "It's also possible that a lot of the rich and famous guys are not only high status, but they're probably fairly high on narcissism, so they basically feel entitled to affairs," Josephs said.

Some might wonder if the celebrities who got caught were having marital trouble and that motivated the cheating. Yes and no, say scientists.

"Cheating occurs for many reasons, consequently it is difficult to make a blanket statement about a marriage based on infidelity," said Block, author of "Broken Promises, Mended Hearts: Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships" (McGraw-Hill, 2001). "For example, infidelity may be driven by a need for an ego boost or a distraction to avoid personal issues or sexual curiosity."

Some relationship reasons might include hostility toward a partner or as a means of diluting the intensity of intimacy with one's partner, Block said.

The woman's role

Like any affair, Woods and Edwards didn't go it solo. Even if the mistresses or romantic others weren't officially taken, they may have known these celebs were. So why did they jump into the sack with married men?

"If women are considering someone to have a sexual affair with — if he's not going to bring a long-term investment — it's high-quality genes," Kruger said. "Somebody like Tiger Woods, he's young and attractive and he's athletic and incredibly high status; it makes him the perfect candidate for a short-term affair."

And statistics suggest that while men do cheat more often than women, the ladies do cheat. It should be noted that the prevalence of marital infidelity and extramarital sex varies widely depending on the definition of infidelity used and the survey referenced, ranging from about 10 percent of couples to more than half. Josephs estimates that in the United States, 20 percent to 40 percent of married men cheat, and some 15 percent to 30 percent of women do the same.

But they do so for different reasons.

"When men cheat it is typically about sex," Block said in an e-mail interview. "When women cheat it is more likely a trade-off — sex in exchange for attention, emotional support and regaining the feeling of being special."

Block added, "This is not to imply that it's all about sex for men, or that it has nothing to do with sex for women, only that the drivers are usually different."

Women may have more reason not to cheat. "For women it might be even more risky to cheat, because guys are naturally suspicious. Guys have a higher tendency to be jealous and to suspect infidelity because they don't want to be cuckolded so they're going to be hypersensitive," Kruger said. Essentially, they don't want to put their resources into raising some other guy's progeny, at least from an evolutionary perspective.

High morals and hypocrisy

Cheating may seem particularly wrong when it involves someone like Edwards, who touted family values. But from what research has shown, morality doesn't preclude indiscretion. Power can make a person stricter in moral judgment of others while being less strict of their own behavior, new research suggests.

To simulate an experience of power, Joris Lammers of Tilburg University in The Netherlands and colleagues assigned roles of high-power, such as prime minister, and low-power positions, such as a civil servant, to participants. The participants were then presented with moral dilemmas. Results showed that compared with low-power individuals, high-power participants judged others more strictly for speeding, dodging taxes and keeping a stolen bike, while finding it more acceptable to engage in these behaviors themselves.

The underlying cause is three-pronged, according to the study team, which also included Tilburg University's Diederik Stapel and Adam Galinsky of the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. Power makes people more egocentric, and so they focus on their own needs; power reduces a person's ability to take on the perspective of others; and power makes people feel psychologically invisible.

"They become unaware that their behavior can be observed by others," Galinsky said.

One example would be Gov. Sanford, who voted to impeach President Bill Clinton for his transgression, and then this year admitted to cheating on his wife with a woman from Argentina, Galinsky added.

The power must be legit, however. Another experiment in this study found that people who don't feel personally entitled to their power are actually harder on themselves than they are on others. The research will be published in a forthcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science.

Perhaps we don't think of extramarital affairs as moral transgressions.

"Humans are complicated," Kruger said. "For most people we don't say we're good or evil. We have these conflicting desires, because we always have all these different challenges based on differences on what would be best for our own reproductive success and that of our partners and families."

At the end of the day, it comes down to choice, Kruger says.

"As far as the personal decisions go it's not like we're forced to do this. It's not like our genes are steering the wheel. It's a choice Tiger and others have made," Kruger said.

He added, "Even though we're talking about evolutionary bases for psychology and we do have these aggregate differences I think there is what most people think of as free will. We have a choice in these matters and we aren't genetically determined to go one way or another."

Source: LiveScience

Men v Women: Jealous for different reasons

Cheating on a spouse or significant other is sure to cause feelings of jealousy and hurt in the spurned partner.

But men and women differ on what part of cheating they think is the worst: Men tend to be more bothered by sexual infidelity, while most women are bothered more by emotional infidelity.

The prevailing explanation for this difference is the unique evolutionary roles played by men and women, but a new study suggests that it has more to do with the types of attachments people form in relationships.

The widespread evolutionary explanation posits that men rank sexual infidelity as the greater sin because over the eons they learned to be hyper-vigilant about sex, as they could never be absolutely certain that their children were actually theirs. Women, on the other hand, became more bothered by emotional infidelity, because they are concerned about having a partner to help raise their children.

A recent study found that men feel guiltier after a sexual discretion, while women feel guiltier after an emotional one.

The problem with the prevailing idea was that while men were more likely than women to rate sexual infidelity as worse than the emotional kind in studies, there was still a small subset of men who put emotional infidelity at the top of the list, said Kenneth Levy, a psychologist at Penn State.

This subset seemed to indicate that "there must be something else going on," Levy told LiveScience.

Attachment to others

Levy, who studies attachment in relationships, saw the results instead through the lens of his research and began to suspect that individual differences in how people view relationships could be affecting men's and women's views on infidelity.

Levy spoke of two types of attachment in relationships: dismissive and secure. A person with a dismissive attachment "doesn't see the value in relationships," he explained, describing them as "hyper-independent." Or, in other words, "most of us value our independence, but we also value our relationships. These individuals only value their independence, to the exclusion of relationships."

On the flip side, those with secure attachments see the value in relationships and are comfortable with the interdependency that comes with them, Levy said.

Levy thought those with a secure attachment style might be more likely to be bothered by emotional infidelity, while those with dismissive styles would see sexual infidelity as more of problem.

Sexual vs. emotional infidelity

To test this idea, Levy and his colleague Kristen Kelly had over 400 undergraduate students (about three-quarters were female) complete a standard assessment of attachment style in romantic relationships and also asked them which they would find more distressing — emotional or sexual infidelity.

The findings of their study, detailed in a recent issue of the journal Psychological Science, backed up Levy's hunch: Males with a dismissive style found sexual infidelity more bothersome, while men with a secure style rated emotional infidelity as worse. Somewhat unexpectedly, the same was found in females.

"So it seems to be that this concern about sexual infidelity seems to be tied to dismissiveness attachment whether you're a male or a female," Levy said.

While it would seem like those with dismissive attachment styles wouldn't care about either type of infidelity, Levy notes that this kind of attachment is defensive; dismissive types distance themselves from relationships too avoid deep-seeded feelings of vulnerability. Their concern over sexual infidelity shows a concern about their connections to others, but on an unemotional level, Levy said.

Levy suggests that this attachment model of jealousy could replace the standard evolutionary one, though it is itself rooted in evolution. Attachment is a mechanism that helps people become connected to other people — an important survival technique in human society. These attachments are learned from our earliest relationships, with our parents or other caregivers, and seem to carry on through life, as our most important relationships shift from our parents, to our friends, and finally to romantic relationships.

So it would seem that the attachment styles adults display in relationships were learned from early on, and not programmed in.

This understanding could point to ways of reducing feelings of sexual jealousy, "which research shows is tied to all sorts of maladaptive behaviors," by promoting secure attachment in children or exposing adults to the benefits of this kind of attachment, Levy said.

Source: LiveScience

Manipulate a woman..!

:) Interesting..

How to Manipulate a women
What politicians are to the citizens of a democracy, men are to the women. We never vote for the best politician (for there aren’t any) …we always end up voting for the least corrupt. Similarly, women are forced to choose the one who is the least likely to mess up their lives – which is anyway going around and around in cycles. Period.