Friday, January 12, 2007

How is this photo beta...!?

How is this photo beta. She is beautiful right ?

Mom asks her beta while showing a girl's color-photo picked out from her diary. This is one of the first questions a concerend mom would ask her "available" beta when she feels her nanna-munna-beta has finally "come-of-age" for marriage purposes. She, even before asking her beta's opinion, would first advertise his profile in one of those communitiy matrimonial circle manazines and collect profiles & photos of available girls around. Then, Based on her perceptionsof the prospective Bahu traits, looks and screening she'd hand-pick a few of these profiles. Once this homework is done she'd introduce the Topic of marriage to his son with one of these photos.

Typically, she thinks her "innocent-beta" would not allow her proceed with the pre-marriage tasks as she feels he'd be "very-happy" being single and would even want to concentrate more on his "career" before thinking about settling down. So this innocent mom would first get the photos and then try to "entice" her betaa with these photos and a quick 2 minute summary of these girls - "five-six tall aakkum !! very fair, Nice character..works as manager in Citibank. Music lover aakkummam"

While our mom is busy with these pre-marriage tasks, seldom she knows about the latent thoughts running on in her "naive-beta's-gullible-mind". As we know, He would typically be obsessed with "Post-marriage" tasks. And a typicalmetro born "naive-beta" would have just had about 13 proposals, 3-5 acceptances, 37 dates and 5-6 broken-heart experiences until now.And his mom knows none of these stories. Finally when none of these "extra-curriculars" works out, the beta would wait for his mom to start "co-curricular" activities.

He'd have cursed his mother silently for atleast 2 years for not starting looking for him. But after the long long wait when his mom pokes a photograph of a pretty looking lady on to his face and asks the question, he'd play a TOM-CAT, would blush, look down, draw semi-circles with his toes and say "Mamma..i dont want to marry now"...

A typical beta would never admit that he wants to marry. Rather he creates a scenario where he gives out the message that he is agreeing to the marriage only under the immense PRESSURE put on him by his parents. Here is how it goes :

Let the time now be 8.15 am. Our beta is getting ready to leave for work. That is the time our mamma shows a photo to him. The girl looked bad,and had a below-expectation type profile. So our beta shouts at his MOM :

"HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TOLD NOT TO LOOK FOR ME NOW ?"..YOU DONT UNDERSTAND...I HAVE TO PLAN A CAREER..A LIFE..I NEED TIME..2 YEARS TIME.."

At 8.30 AM when our beta is just done with the breakfast and when mom feels he's cooled down, she shows another photo --> This time an above-average profile. And a better looking girl. Our Betaa smiles this time, blushes and says softly:

"Oh..amma..i need just some more time before marriage..just..u see..I am working..i need to be focussed..wait for 2-3 months..".

And when at 8.45 am, mom shows a sweet girl's picture (resembling Mallika Sherawat), the guy yields to "pressure" --> First smiles, then controlls smile and then blushes. He'd pretend not to have seen that photo at all (He's definitely noticed the mallika like part though) and say politely :

"If you all want me to marry, then..then..I needed somemore time...but. i'll agree..go ahead..whatelse can i do?..."

Then comes the "formally-seeing-the-girl" part. Son, accompanied by his dad & mom, eldest brother of dad, elder sister of mom and Broker goes tothe girl's house. On the way in the car our betaa would have, by now, gauged the best of features of the girl like a super-intelligent computer.Based on that single photograph of the girl he has seen, our son would have fantasized the girl in atleast three different dresses, hair-styles and fashions. And finally when the girl's dad calls his daughter out to the living room to meet everyone, Betaa realises that the photo he's seen was atleast 2 years old ! And like the India's GDP calculation, the projected estimate (36-28-34) is no where near the actual figure (34-32-36).

By the time he could re-estimate his calculations, imaginations and have another round of self-satisfaction-survey (typically a profile matching execrcise where he'd see if the earlier projected estimate could bere-estimated to fit with actual figure) , his dad & her dad have realised that they have a common close friend. His Mom & her mom have just realised that MoM #1's 2nd cousin's husband's sister was married to Mom #2's sister-in-law's brother-in-law. Also the Girl's naani was the first to recollect the family name of our Betaa's Naana. Now its a real dead-lock --> Even if Betaa wants to get off this marriage, he cannot.And he has to again "yield" to pressure - This time literally.

After consulting with all his friends, our son finally assures himself that 34-32-36 with a Job in ICICI is finally manageable. They (friends) tell him aboutthe intangible aspects of a woman like personality, Behavior etc (Though its a fact that the friends have themselves gone by "numbers" eventually). Finally, they both start sending emails and decide to start dating. And he accepts the fact that Not everyone can be mallika sherawat. There areother heroines too in India.

After-all, according to his imaginations, except for the VitalStatistix, everything else about her (personality, Body Lang, pomp, attitude) is just perfect. Its again similar to how Govt concludes on how "India Is shining" despite poor numbers like fiscal deficit, suicidal rates, Below-poverty-line-% etc). And corporate India goes only by "Numbers". No wonder why the latter is more successful.

During his first date He realises that her english is accented & Body Language is bad (personality test failed). And she realises that he doesnt take bath.

During the second date he realises that she wears only sarees or salwar-kameez. (fashionability test failed). And she realises that he doesn't know to drive a bike.

During the third date he realises that she eats only vegetarian & would never visit a Pub or Bar. And she realises that he's not a first-timer in Dating.

During the fourth date he realises that she can never miss a friday fast or a monday temple visit. And she realises that He can never miss a friday mumbai-disc or sunday pune-disc.

During the fifth date he realises that she wants him to quit smoking and drinking. And she realises he wants her to start doing both.

During the sixth date he realises that her family is Keen to get married to him immediately. And she realises his family has already fixed up the date of marriage.

---------------- Marriage Takes Place ------------------------

After 1 week into marriage he realises she's not even Mamta kulkarni - forget Mallika sherawat. And she realises that he's salman khan without fitness.

Yet...Yet...After 1 month he & she realises she's carrying :-). But how ? :-) :-)
After 1 year, they realise they are three - Not two anymore.

Yet...They complete silver, golden Jubiless together as a happily married & settled couple.

Yet..people around call it the perfect marriage and term them "made-for-each-other"

Ofcourse there's another story on what the Girl realises about Guy at different stages. But that could be more Nasty to write here! So in this successful relationship, Neither the "numbers" worked well. Nor the Intangibles. "Marriage is all about compromises" --> People say !! But when everything is against expectations, can we call it a "compromise" ?

got theses screens from unknown author fwd.. but thought this could enlight few of us..;-D

Good day to you & If you are single like me, Good Luck too !

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Marriage.. from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together
even in the silent memory of God.


But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Source: The Prophet by Khalil Gibran