Friday, December 30, 2005

Arrange Marriage...

First Comes Marriage, Then Comes Love

"Marriage only brings a woman closer to man, and they become friends in a special sense, never to be parted either in this life or in the lives to come." - Mohandas K. Gandhi

Some people are fortunate enough to have found their soul-mates while others have their soul-mates selected for them. In South Asia and the Middle East, arranged marriages are preferred over love marriages, which is the predominant system in the West.People of the West reason that only the person who is to marry can decide whom s/he wishes to spend the rest of his/her life with, which leads to a successful marriage. On the other hand, people of South Asia and the Middle East claim that the elders of the family have the final say over the marriage for they have seen the world and know that a successful marriage is not just a uniting of two people, but of two families.

What is a marriage? Dictionary definition....a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.”


What is an arranged marriage? It is usually perceived as a marriage that one is being forced into but, in all truth, it is not. It is a merging of not only two people, but of two families through the process of agreement. Now, in today’s modern world, there are two types of arranged marriages: arranged-love marriages and pure-arranged marriages. An arranged-love marriage is where the couple loves one another and wishes to marry, receiving the permission and advice of their respective parents and family elders. Here, caste and dowry are not as important as status, both economic and social, and family reputation. A pure-arranged marriage is followed by a specific, traditional procedure: the man’s parents investigate the girl’s family history and caste before beginning any talks with her parents. The man’s family checks to see if the girl’s family is of the same caste, has relatively the same social and economic status, is of a reputable family and has no physical or mental disabilities or deformities.

Arranged marriages are not as cruel as they are viewed. The arranged system is one that both peacefully and lovingly unites not only two people but two families, showing that having one’s soul-mate selected for him/her is not all that bad. Those who willingly go through an arranged marriage know the rules and expectations of such a union helps them in making their marriage last – a quality that is lacking in many Western marriages, since over fifty per cent of them end in divorce. As Gandhi stated, a successful marriage is one that the couple will relive time and time again because “matches are made in Heaven.

I found this very interesting "Tips of Arranged marriage" :
www.sulekha.com/groups/postdisplay.aspx?cid=261248&forumid=756919
Ending couldnt be any better... Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself..

so easy & thought provoking to read... is it that easy to follow ?