The A-Z Guide to Arranged Marriage...

The A-Z Guide to Arranged Marriage By Rekha Waheed, is a sassy story that unapologetically celebrates the realities of an age-old tradition for the new generation. From the endless supply of unsuitable grooms-to-be, interfering auntijhis, broken protocols, to non-stop community pressures, we follow Maya Malik's charming roller coaster ride through the arranged marriage process to realise that a girl can use old world traditions, and new world savvy to get exactly what she wants.

You've heard of Bridget Jones, Ally McBeal and Carrie Bradshaw, now meet Maya Malik. The 'plagued by singledom', quirky main character undoubtedly reaches out to a new generation of women through redefined stereotypes and new cultural challenges. All women will relate to her paranoia about singledom. The book is a contemporary, witty and proud representation of the controversial topic that has already created considerable interest.

The A-Z Guide to Arranged Marriage reflects the splendid spirit of Asian traditions that has mass appeal. This book was recommended to me by a friend and I must say book is more for female. so guys, if you are not reading this book - you are not missing anything...

Unhappily Marriage?.. waiting might payoff..

recent study says- Divorces doesn't make people happier..

The research identified happy and unhappy spouses in US national datbase. Of the unhappy partners who divorced, about half were happy five years later. But unhappy spouses who stuck it out often did better. About two-thirds were happy five years later. Divorce didn't reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem or increase a sense of mastery compared with those who stayed married, the report says. Results were controlled for factors including race, age, gender and income. Staying married did not tend to trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships.

Study results contradict what seems to be common sense to me.. in indian context - for ages indian arrange marriage lived forever(/longer) because of this ONE reason "staying married". Society/community played big part on this but increasely with lifestyle change easy access to money everything getting/will change atleast among urban indians.

then again its always said if you are not happy - you can accept & wait for thinks to happen or design your own destiny by reacting/taking steps to change. later is widely considered to be wise step..

for more details - http://www.americanvalues.org/html/r-unhappy_ii.html

Why do people want to get married?

recently read blogs
http://lordlabak.blogspot.com/2006/07/observation.html

made me think and posted my comments tooo..

having lived in western world some years now - marriage is viewed as a level of commitment. Seriously, no one taking that road until they live with the person for a few years... attitude is : If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. no one is in rush (may be some women due to body clock pressure) and totally cool to be single... instead of regret it later.

in general - i guess reason may be :

• from the time we're tiny, we're taught that we're going to grow up and get married. We actually have conditioned ourselves to believe that we are not a success in this life unless we do find that one perfect person and marry. It's the fad of this millenium.. next one, no one will marry!
  

• Because society tells us that if you are not married, you are NOT NORMAL, and something is WRONG WITH YOU! There is a social stigma associated with not being married.

but i think... its only human to love and wanting to be loved & cared. may be marriage is an self-assurance that you are worth it.

cross culture Marriages...taboo..!?

recently read this article Marrying the greek family about cross culture Marriages. Initial thoughts, same applies for we indians as well... Iam no expert on marriage and not married but was think, logically what could happen.

Marrying someone from another nation can be exciting, interesting and challenging. ofcourse nothing is correct or wrong when its come to marriage - few praticle diffculties are:

• understanding/communciation : very very big issues. hard time understanding each other's humor. imagine explianing the humor to one another...! discussion with either parents/in-laws are almost impossible (this is very diffcult if even understand the language)
• home court advantage :If a foreign man marries an American woman and they live in the United States, she would be cast in the leadership role in some aspects of their relationship
• cultural & religious beliefs : one of must needs to give a little and adjust a little bit more. Often, it is the person with the least strict beliefs. Religion is a thorny issue. (confused child/child raising issues..)

Marriage requires to give up a great deal of freedom because many have to be taken jointly. But problems that be set cross-cultural or inter-caste marriages are the same as those faced by others after all Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus...